Election 2012

Appearing in her Star Trek top and her wonderfully Nasty & very Naughty Librarian up-do,
our Blessed Mother Sarah lets Greta have it.

(Hopefully she'll conclude that the answer to her question is yes)

SARAH PALIN, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR/FORMER GOVERNOR: Hi, Greta. How are YOU??

VAN SUSTEREN: Very well. So Governor Christie is saying he is not going to run for President of the United States. Your thoughts Governor?

PALIN: He put the nail in the coffin.

VAN SUSTEREN: But he's been pushed by Republicans.

PALIN: It's the media, Greta. They prop someone up only to crush them later on. A lot of push for Christie comes from those inside baseball.

VAN SUSTEREN: Okay. Well, how then should we cover these races and the speculation? It seems almost like a game, a contest.

PALIN: Right on.

VAN SUSTEREN: ... we need to get the information for the voters. So how should we do this?

PALIN: We challenge the media! Vet those candidates. Duh! We learned our lesson with Obama.

VAN SUSTEREN: So this pole says the federal government is doing a crummy job. How do we turn that around?

PALIN: Well, first, we realize there are politicians out there who are taking people's money, still out there begging for it, and spending it however they please. Living in the heartland of America, and all, it's tough finding jobs and keeping them. Those elites don't get it.

VAN SUSTEREN: Great. But, how then does a Politician connect with these Heartland dwellers? When politicians get on TV they end up saying the same thing over and over. Predictable. You know, those worn out talking points?

PALIN: Great question, Greta. What helps is for THAT politician to have come from the heartland herself OR himself, either or, you know. Herman Cain is the flavor of the month. Like a big ole' chocolate icecream cone. He's not elite. He's ice cream.

Here's a hoot for ya. Earlier today a Fox Media person said I was down in the poles. Well I scratched my head with my fingernails recalling the pole that had me climbing to the top. The media doesn't do homework. They sneak their own agenda in there.

VAN SUSTEREN: I did my homework, Governor Palin. SarahPac sent out a statement that you were on the verge of making a decision. On the verge, Governor. The request specifically said unless people sent more money, you wouldn't decide. Send money or Sarah Palin won't run. So what is it Governor. Are you in?

PALIN: Well there some lying media head did it again. On the verge of HUH? Whatever..

VAN SUSTEREN: ......Blank........

PALIN: Well, I don't know what went out to voters that said that I'm on the verge of...

VAN SUSTEREN: Your PAC said this, Governor. SarahPac? The one still promoting your family vacation/bus tour? Ring any bells?

PALIN: Yes, well, anyway that's why Governor Christie made his statement. You gotta line up those ducks. Decisions have to be made in an expedient manner. No dilly dallying. But let me repeat myself. My family is still in that mode of deciding things. We are taking our time. What's the rush, Greta?

But the thing is, I don't need a title. Sure my sole purpose, why I ask for people to continue to send money to SarahPac, is to get behind people WITH titles but still .. A title is too shackling. Shackling is for the bedroom. Like poles are for strippers. And all the limp, impotent men with gang rape and oogling me in my shorts on their minds. I refuse to be stuck in that box. That's my biggest contemplation piece in my process.. and my family of course. Both.

VAN SUSTEREN: Well, you sure rattle the media but you haven't posted on Facebook or Twitted for 10 days. How can you make a dent on any sort of international platform if all you do is poke and tweet?

PALIN: Excuse me? Instead of throwing stones from Facebook or twatter, I had dinner with the Prime Minister. How the hell, I mean, how is that NOT making a dent on the international platform? We ATE together, Greta!

I told him Americans like him. How is that NOT doing something?

VAN SUSTEREN: A dinner date. Yes, impressive, Governor. But you do realize you would be more powerful if you had a title of President? Please tell me you get that.

PALIN: Yeah, sure. Although let me tell you since I started this political thing 20 years ago I realized you don't need a title to make a difference. Yes, I wanted to be Mayor Palin- a title, and then Governor Palin - a title. But you just don't realize how hateful they were to me during the VP campaign! Vicious, Greta! Three years ago and it still stings like a toothache. They tried to mold me, shape me, I was a caricature.

So if a title totally ruins a person why the heck do you need one? Tell me THAT!

VAN SUSTEREN: Uhm. Not to change the subject, well actually we should.. could you win?

PALIN: Well paint me silly, of course! Americans need someone out of the box. Though, a title keeps one in the box. But I could win that title and be out of the box ..actually I would be in the box...

VAN SUSTEREN: Governor Palin! How do we reach the Independent voter?

PALIN: The problem today is that Socialist Barack Obama.. oh yes I went there. We need someone economically savvy.

VAN SUSTEREN: Great, well I put up a pole asking which was more important this go around - social or economic issues. We all know you ran solely on social issue.. got a D in economics? But that is neither here nor there. Let's say President Obama turned this country around. All his policies worked. We were thriving as a country. Life was beautiful Would you be happy then?

PALIN: Hells no. And let me say that again HELLS BELLS NO! Barack can never do good in my book. He is a demon socialist with a record of lying and deceit. Americans could be thriving, able to feed their children well, living the American Dream in peace and harmony and I would still hate that President to the core. It would all just be a ploy, I know it. You know it... And this is why....

VAN SUSTEREN: Ok...CYA!

PALIN: Thank you so much, Greta. I'll be talking to you soon, right..And another thing.....(abruptly ends)

UPDATE!
A very Special Message from our very own Nicole Cultleader

Keep Your Courage, Sea4Peeing Pee'ers

Think about it, would a woman who rocks THIGH HIGH HOOKER boots sit on the sidelines?! Hells no!
Look, we are all getting a little discouraged.
Ok! A lot discouraged.
The time has come to get straight to the point.

The clock ticks, The Guv of the Northern Sparkly Star is fiddling, you all are blathering...
The time has come to get rid of all that church lingo, bible verse pumping, prayer jib jab.

The church lady isn't working for our Guv.
Babies, Guns and Jesus? I spit on that!
How about:

ZOMG Hair, Legs down to thar & My God she just winked at ME!

She needs to get back to her roots! Let us know she's serious!
Go in for the Killer, Sarah - get back into those darn HOOKER BOOTS and strut what we've been pimpin'!
Pile that hair up high! Gloss those lips until they stick!

Hang out that tongue even farther - maybe add a little Palin wiggle?

Tight skirts! Short skirts! Cleavage! We want to see BOOBS woman!
Let the paparazzi get a few upskirt/downshirt shots and BAM! she will rise again.
Sarah needs to get serious! Stir up loins. Raise the limp! Grab those cajones!

When panic strikes your innards, just go to your quiet (private) place and remind yourself why we march forward.
Remember, private secret place. Take one last check over your shoulder.

When alone.. please reflect...
(Please Click to Enlarge and Zoom, as necessary)